Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
