you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
