So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
