My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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