This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
