i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
