What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
