Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
