$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think my vagina is haunted
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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