Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
