So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
