We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
