I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
