Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
