Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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