I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
