Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
How external is "for external use only"?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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