i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
