i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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