You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
