when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
