Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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