We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
