there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
