Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
