if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
