But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
