No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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