Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
