i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
