the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
