We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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