and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
