Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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