About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize