we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
