I just made out with a guy for $7.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
