I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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