Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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