i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
