It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
