Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i think my cat just said my name.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
