i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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