So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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