if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
