How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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