I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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