the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't turn off my feet"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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