My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize