i barfeds in our rink
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
