Pappa wants mamma naked
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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