yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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