So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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