after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
