John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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