You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
