Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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