Christians are straight up FREAKS
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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