google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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