the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
