I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
