If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
