3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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