One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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