We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
