Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You were trust falling into bushes
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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